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23 Phrases to Help You Fight Right
Posted Wednesday, August 05, 2009 6:24 AM By Gretchen Rubin
Every Wednesday is Tip Day.This Wednesday: 23 phrases to help you fight right.
Almost all couples fight; the secret is to fight right. I’ve posted about what not to say during a fight. Here are some phrases that actually help.
Please try to understand my point of view.
Wait, can I take that back?
You don’t have to solve this—it helps me just to talk to you.
This is important to me.
I see you’re in a tough position.
I can see my part in this.
I hadn’t thought of it that way before.
I could be wrong.
Let’s agree to disagree on that.
This isn’t just your problem; it’s our problem.
I’m feeling unappreciated. [Always, my craving for gold stars!]
We’re getting off the subject.
You’ve convinced me.
Let’s take a break for a few minutes. [If you can remember to do this, it’s extremely effective—especially if you’re having a big fight. After a break, it’s almost impossible to go back to yelling.]Please keep talking to me.
I realize it's not your fault.
That came out all wrong.
I see how I contributed to the problem.
What are we really fighting about?
How can I make things better?
I love you.
Also, to fight right, it’s very important to respond well if your sweetheart makes a repair attempt—the technical term for a gesture of reconciliation and love. Don’t rebuff a repair attempt!
* If you like the blog post, you'll love the book! It's not just a collection of touched-up blog posts, I promise. Pre-order The Happiness Project now! http://www.slate.com/blogs/blogs/happinessproject/default.aspx